1. Intro

Even though I wouldn’t give up the awesomeness of being a guy, girls do have a couple of advantages associated with their sex. Besides getting out of traffic tickets, girls get to get away with other cool things. For instance they can get drunk and make out with their best girlfriends and nobody would thinks it’s weird. In fact there’s a whole series of DVD’s ending in “Wild” that celebrates this habit. Guys can not get away with anything close to that because that may be viewed as gay. Now for the record there is nothing wrong with being openly gay. But for some reason two straight men partaking in gay activity is frowned upon. The thing is that most male friends are extremely close so there can be some gray or “mo” areas. Often times you’re in a mo area and you might not even know it. There needs to be a definitive guideline for different mo situations and how they might be handled between two straight male friends. So here we go with straight or mo…..

2

Umbrellas It’s raining cats and dogs outside and there’s only one umbrella between you and you’re boy. Is it ok for both of you to share the same umbrella, so neither of you get wet? Verdict: Mo! Under no circumstances is ok for two straight men to ever share an umbrella. I don’t care if it’s the second coming of Katrina, I don’t care if hail is coming down from the sky, there is no reason one can give for two straight guys to share one umbrella ella ella hey hey hey. The cheek kissing thing You’re at one of those Euro bars and tons of guys are doing that cool hip kissing each other on the cheek thing. Is this mo or straight activity? Verdict: Mo and straight If you happen to be European or in a European/ South American country this is perfectly straight behavior . If you’re American…. in America, don’t even think about it. Besides being pretentious as fuck, you come up looking mo. If you’re not on foreign soil don’t fake it. Keep it simple a hand shake will do.

3

Showers Two guys in the same shower at the gym? Verdict: Mo! Look if you’re not on a high school or college sports team and you’re not in prison, there is no reason to be in the same shower with another guy. If you’re not getting paid money to play a sport then there should never bee an instance where two grown men are in plain view of each other’s genital region, near water. Applying Sun block: It’s you and your boy at the beach and you’ve got to apply the sun block to each other’s hard to reach spot on the back. Verdict: Straight Look skin cancer is no joke playa. It’s one of the leading causes of death in America. Don’t try to get all fancy with it. A once over will do. Under no circumstance should either party be laying down. Both men should be standing on their feet. Just to play it on the safe side, sun block now comes in a spray bottle, get one of those.

4

Watching Porn More than one guy watching a porno. Verdict: Straight (under conditions) If the following conditions are not met, then more than one guy watching a porno could be considered mo activity. The number of guys watching said porn must be greater than two but less than eleven. All available lights in the room must be on and every males hand should be within eye sight. If alcohol being present is fine so long as there is no wine involved. Lastly there can’t be more than one guy in any scene of the movie. If all conditions are met then it’s straight. Sleeping in the same bed Either on a trip or after night of drinking you’re forced to share a bed with your boy. There’s no carpet on the floor and a couch is not available. Verdict: Straight (under conditions) Both men must sleep back to back at all times. No one body part can touch at any time. If one does turn to face the other back creating a spooning affect then under mandate 271 of the guy code who ever is the inner/ small spoon is the mo… Just saying

5

Bro hugs two men “bro hugging” when meeting or leaving each other. Verdict: Straight The bro hug is an American greeting done by two males that know each other. It has three steps. Step one: both males grab each others right hand in a way that the back of the hand is facing the other person. Step two: they lean in close and the right shoulders and the right side of the chest area touch each others. Third step: the left arm wraps around the other guys “upper back” for a quick pat. While performing the bro hug, under no circumstances is there to be any contact to the other mans lower back area. Also at no point can both sets of nipples ever come in contact or both arms go around the other guy…. that would be mo. Lastly the bro hug should last under three seconds. An exception to the last rule is if one bro is going away over seas for a long period of time, going away to prison for a long period of time or getting married. All three of these circumstances are basically the same thing. as seen in nature…